Dec 14, 2021
This is how we make life work when we want to go from surviving
during the holiday season to THRIVING! Natalie sits down with
Dr. Desire Taylor to dissect all things during this time of
Dr. Taylor is a clinical psychologist with her private practice
in the Dallas area. She grew up all over the world as her
parents were both in the military. She eventually settled in
Texas where she obtained her bachelor's degree in African American
Studies from the University of Texas at Austin. From there,
she earned her doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Her
training continued with an internship at the University of Colorado
School of Medicine in Aurora, Colorado. Then she completed
her post-doctoral fellowship at the South Texas Veterans Health
Care System in San Antonio, Texas.
We discuss some GREAT topics along with strategies to combat the
Why are we so stressed this time of
- Holidays have become taxing. We are preparing, consuming,
acquiring, and out of our rhythms.
- Great deal of expectation/comparison/pressure
- Many of the things take a lot of physical and mental energy
which leads to being overwhelmed and overloaded
- This time of year seems to highlight relational
conflict/challenges whether with family/friends or alone
Why do we seem more emotional during the
- This is a sacred season, we are meant to feel and be moved
during this time, BUT we don't consider that and treat ourselves as
- Holidays highlight grief and loss in a real way
- Unrealistic expectations mean we are not prepared for the
realities of our beautiful but dysfunctional families.
- We might shift into being more rigid and less flexible to try
to meet those unrealistic expectations
- We go into feeling personal failure, criticism, judgement, all
of which disconnect us from ourselves and loved ones
Why are holidays harder after trauma?
- The message is that this time of year is supposed to be joyful
and cheer but those who are experiencing the impact of trauma feel
anything but that.
- If we edge into faking it, it makes the situation even
- We have memories of past holidays where the trauma was NOT
there so it can act as a reference point and highlight a clear
before and after
- Nervous system is hyper vigilant following trauma, so adding
more stress to a body that's already pretty taxed is a tough
How do we deal?
- Treat this as a holy time, a sacred time
- Shift away from what the holidays should look like and and ask
yourself 'How do I want to FEEL after the holidays are over?'
to allow that to be your guide through the season
- Pause...physically, mentally, schedule wise. Really make
sure quiet time is locked in and respected
- MAKE SPACE...what does that mean?? THIS is good!!!!!!
- Identify and take stock of your common triggers
beforehand. Figure out how you want to navigate that and how
you might retreat
- Challenge the expectations!!!
You can follow Dr. Taylor for more of her amazing wisdom via
her Instagram at @doctor.desi and reach her via emal at