Mar 9, 2022
This is how we make life work when trying to establish boundaries. Whether it's with friends, coworkers or family, how do we heed the same advice that we might lend to others? Is our happiness being sacrificed to keep others happy?
Are you a people pleaser or an empath? Getting involved in others people's drama, trying to fix people and not saying NO can be a REAL struggle! but our 'yes' puts our life into more chaos. It's time to draw some boundaries!
Empaths feel EVERYTHING
The instict to fix it and make everyone feel better can put us over the edge. We can still be helpful but not get pulled into it. Sure we just want to be helpful but we somehow get in the middle of it. If we are fixing other people's 'stuff', we are just putting our 'stuff' to the side!
You dont have to say anything right away.
When others in turmoil, they will cling to those they feel are their saviors. Be aware so that you can draw that boundary line...here is the advice and back out! Do a real good gut check and see if it's worth it in the long haul to get involved.
What is the motive and intention?
If your motives are pure and intentions are good, then move forward. But if you can say no to either of those, you have to take a step back.
It's easy to become the problem instead of fixing the problem if there is an unhealthy boundary.
We HAVE to learn to say NO
Perspective and age play a big part in realizing what our life priorities are and where we need to start saying no. We can set the stage upfrong to avoid conflict and guilt in the future.
The pile on is real...by not saying no to getting mixed up in other's people junk, we sacrifice what really matters. We hurt those around us instead of doing the opposite. Putting other people's happiness ahead of ours really doesn't work. It's a vicious cycle and SO real!
Contribute to other's happiness but don't be responsible for it!
We contribute to their happiness by just being ourselves. We aren't responsible for other people's happiness...we can contribute but we are NOT responsible. That is not our cross to bear and we haven't been called to play God.
HOW do we set the boundary to NOT fix other people's junk?
If praying is your jam, you need to pray about that! Ask yourself if you're helping them with the long game so they learn how to handle issues in the future with grace and wisdom.
When it comes to saying no, draw up those life priorities. Be ok with disappointing people, because we WILL.
Think about what you would tell your daughter or son...how would you advise them on boundaries? Take that into consideration and use it for yourself!
When it's all said and done, we just want to end the day well, so how does that look to each of us??